Damn you, 2020.

Dear Irrfan,

I am not including the ‘Khan’ in your name, as you had dropped it because you wanted people to know you by work and not your lineage.

Aapne ek interview mei kaha tha ke aapki aankhein gehri isiliye hain kyunki aap raat mei andhera karke mom-batti ko ghoorte the. Sach tha? Pata nahi. Log aksar actors ki movies dekhkar unke fan hote hain. Main actors ke interview dekhkar fan banta hun. Aapke interviews mei hamesha ek ajeeb smile se aap kehte the, samajh nahi aaya kya mazaak tha and kya sach.

Now that you are gone, people will talk about your films and how much you meant to Hindi Cinema. You knew people loved you. I don’t know if you saw this much love, how would you feel. Everything was going fine in your life two years ago. Your recent films were hits. You were doing a show ‘Gormint’ with A.I.B. But then you were diagnosed with a rare cancer and everything changed.

As a person, I can’t tell you how much you meant to me. I haven’t ever met you. Your movies are tremendous. But that is not the real reason. I am not going to talk about your movies, many of them are stellar. I am going to talk about your journey. I remember how you once mentioned that you used to fly kites in your hometown when your terrace didn’t even have a boundary. You fell once and broke your arm. From there, you later went on to star in some of the biggest Hollywood films, let alone hindi films. Apna Tom Hanks, wahi Forrest Gump wala, bola ke Irrfan ke saamne main feeka pad jata hun. And yet, your genuine humility and grace is just unmatched. You are a hero to me. If I make it someday in life, it will be because you were an inspiration to millions like me that we could achieve what we always dreamt about.

Your exit from the world is also as filmy as your performances. There is an audio tape doing rounds on the internet which you recorded to promote your last hindi film, Angrezi Medium. Usme kya dialogue tha ek apka. Ke jab life aapko lemons deti hai asliyat mei, toh lemonade banana thoda mushkil ho jata hai. Aur phir aapka shandaar laughter. Bilkul filmy exit. There will never be anyone like you. I wish more than your films, people look at your life and realize that films are just films, the taste is actually in the person.

R.I.P.

Irrfan (1967-2020)